Letter to my daughter

Dear Hailey,

The past 3 months, the first 3 months of your life, have been some of the most special and unforgettable experiences of my 27 years of life. I know you won’t remember any of it, but I will always lovingly remember this special time we have spent together, as I have watched you change from a tiny little newborn, so helpless and needy, into a 3 month old baby who is so strong and already has such a personality.

I have also grown a lot over these three months. I started out as a new mommy with no experience and questioning every decision I made about you. Now I feel like a confident and proud mommy who knows everything about you and how to make you happy and healthy.

I was so lucky to have 14 weeks of maternity leave to spend so much time with you. We spent so many days cuddled in the recliner, both in our jammies, just making faces at each other or watching the Price is Right. I loved nothing more than to hold you all day long, even when you were sleeping I could hardly bear to put you down, even if the house needed cleaned or I was in desperate need of a nap. And during this time we were lucky enough to celebrate so many of your first holidays: first Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas.

I still can’t believe how much you have changed in just your 3 short months of life. You were such a tiny little fragile thing when you first came home; daddy and I were scared to do too much with you because we were afraid you would break. Now not only do you look a lot different (your whole body is filling out – you have the cutest, most kissable chubby little cheeks – and I’m starting to see glimpses of what you will look like as a little girl), but you are not nearly as fragile as you used to be. Your head and neck are so strong and you love to look anywhere and everywhere as I hold you. The rest of your body is strong too and you try to kick and move away as you want to go play and explore the world already. Your personality is really started to emerge, as you get so excited sometimes, and have the cutest smiles and funniest little expressions.

On Monday mommy has to go back to work for the first time since you were born, and the thought of being away from you for over 8 hours is absolutely terrifying. Except for a few hours here and there, I’ve basically been with you every moment of your life and to think about being away from you for so long is heartbreaking; I think it will be much harder for me than it will be for you!

But I’m sure the time apart will be good for us both. It will make the time we do spend together that much more special, and I just can’t wait for the happy smiles and excitement I’m sure you’ll have when I come to pick you up after work.

Hailey, I know you’ve only been here a short 3 months, but I already can’t imagine my life without you and I am just so thankful for the amazing blessing I’ve been given by having such an amazing and beautiful daughter. You are such a good little baby and I feel like the luckiest mommy in the world. I never realized how much I could love a person until you came into my life, and my heart literally bursts with love every time I look at your sweet face.

I know the next few days and weeks will probably be hard on us both, but I promise after I’m done with work I will love and snuggle you so much you’ll never even remember I was gone.

It’s been a truly amazing 3 months, and I’m so excited for the next 3 months and more.

I love you always and forever,

Mommy